Ipl? Who? Rather than what.

As the international cricket scene progresses I begin to doubt Stephen Fleming and his jack russell. He claims to walk him twice a day. Nathan bracken thought otherwise. 

Similarly in the indian Punjab league ( ipl ) cricket has been taken to a new level. A somewhat Bollywood version of gridiron gang the film. Bowlers, batsmen and wicket keepers are in fact playing cricket.

The real argument here is. Who rather than what? You could argue the ipl has ruined the game of kings,  but inspired the fat and oversized children of the newzealand cricket community to lift their heads and go for a slog. 

Both sides of the story raise valid points and lead me to conduct further research. It turns out the chairman of the ipl and the chairwoman of weight watchers held a Meeting in 97 featuring a youthful 97 Daniel vettori. The result of that meeting was the tipping point in equestrian and the popular Indian Punjab league.

Through the looking glass: A mirrored image flip screen twist top table tennis love affair

In the last installment of The Left-Hander, we announced that the October issue would be one of our biggest yet. With over five of our journo's being nominated for awards at the American Globo's this month it has been a hell of a week in the ediotor's chair.

That said, life keeps rolling and my work with the pen never ends. As i sit here now, in a dim lit room, i cast my mind back over 7000 years ago to when I was first born.

Picture me, standing in a small room. The walls evoke a true sense of the Baldwin family and the floor boards are an old oak, with a shiny lamination over their surface. I turn, take up a pen and at the same time punch myself in the face. It stings but I'm not upset. I stand there and feel my nerve endings bouncing and jostling like a bowl of ricies with milk freshly poured onto them.

I bend down and scratch at my knee as it itches but at the same time see a small white object in the corner of the room. I reach down using only my thumb and third finger of my left hand to pick it up. I release it into the palm of my hand and stare at it with the same curiosity you would see humans have at an art gallery. My limited knowledge of language or survival skills places even more importance on this white object as I give it meanings so as to believe my life may have purpose.

At the same time, my mother at the time comes into my room and yells at me. Roughly translated into english she would have said something like; Dog, dog, dog, cat, cat! Obviously this was 7000 years ago so it does not translate into much sense but the meaning is ripe. Ripe with age and lessons of truth.

Back to the story anyhow, as my mother of the time came in and yelled at me, I was startelled and dropped the white object against the floor only to realise that it did not stop upon impact but bounced back up!

From here I quickly concluded that all I needed was to assemble a flat surface (smooth), a net ( semi-rustic) and two paddles. Fortunately I had been playing tennis the week before and thought to use similer rackets only smaller.

And that, was how miniture tennis with white object was created. It was not much at the time but centuries later it became table tennis and is still wildly poular in China.

I myself am now 16 and still consider myself a student of the game, but i will never forget the year of 68 BC'

Yi un Chi

Penetrating Nacho, Chancho and ignasio.

Im going to begin this article by listing some classic quotes from Nacho to entise you into this in depth analysis of a timeless classic. ( make sure to read the quotes in a mexican accent.)

- "I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast."- "Chancho. When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It's for fun."- "Ramses? he is the best"- "Be grateful, Juan Pablo, today is especially delicious."

"A clever film!" ( Conrad  Smith ),  " an oustanding film ( 2004 Daniel vettori )." Nacho Libre is simply. The best. The music captures the audience, grabs them by their ears and pulls them into a little bit of Mexico. You can almost taste the orphans terrible food. You physically and mentally become Nacho himself as the film is screening. I found that feeling quite sexually attracted to the nunn was a controversial yet fantastic part of the film, i myself actually masturbated halfway through the film to a latino porno featuring a maid getting taken from behind by two caucasians. Jack Blacks face, moustche, smile and general persona is what drives the film. He is really an absoloute idiot who is obsessed with the glory of a luchador. But how he makes his original personality ease into that character creates a rather excellent protagonist.Getting inside Chancho is a much harder fish to fry. Wee little Chancho is a fat young mexican boy. His role in the film is pretty much just to be fat and mexican. Which i think is an excellent card to draw in the deck of comedial film techniques. I find most film makers rely on the actually jokes of the film to draw humour. Which is both challenging and boring. Something as simple as having a foreign fat orphan boy run around avalanches a rumbling roar of laughter. Driving my thought to how under appreciated the writer of Nacho Libre actually is. I praise you.  I have given Nacho Libre a 4 star rating.
 " an oustanding film ( 2004 Daniel vettori )."

4 star rating

Like Dean Barker and his team onboard the Aotearoa, there is only one way for the All Blacks to go this weekend and that is down. An unfathomable comeback by Jimmy Spithill and team Oracle, left New Zealand reeling this morning as the nation prepares for a period of mourning and sorrow.
            What was shaping up to be a New Zealand win for the ages, was dramatically lost in the penultimate showdown between both vessels built specifically for the water. There was no aruguing that Larry Allison, multi-millionare and financial aid to team Oracle, and his team were able to provide the "technology" and groundbreaking equipment that would give the Oracle vessel sheer power and speed.
              As the two boats narrowed into the first marker, Dean Barker opted to take a similar approach to yesterday, when NZL lost both races. However, with our hearts firmly placed inside our rib-cages, it was hoped that Dean and his team had developed some new tactics comming in for their first tack. As the race continued, Oracle quickly drew away from the boat Aotearoa even after making a quick recovery from a brutal nose dive that threatened to "pull" the funding for the rest of the race.
               San Francisco Bath-house was open this morning to stream live-coverage of the race taking place in San Francisco yet despite a large turn-out of red socks, the boys were unable to pull through and bring home the coveted cup that has had the country in a stirrup for the past 17 days. Grnarls Barkley said in an interview this morning that "the race was some of the closest, fast-water encounters" he has seen since he began following the cup close to five years ago. And skipper Dean Barker (no relation) shared similar sentiments at a post-race interview: [the loss] "was hard to fathom... and hard to swallow" many critics have agreed that One Square Meals can be hard to indeed swallow and that water is encouraged to aid in digestion and absorbtion.
                 In what best sums up Dean's comments this morning was this closing statement "And to our most loyal supporters here in San Francisco, at home and around the world ... you'll never know what the support means to us. We gave it our absolute all. Thank you for the belief."
                  The metaphorical weight of a nation did ride on the team NZ boat and the team showed guts, determination and true grit amidst a truly exceptional American boat. Viewers around the world looked on as the team laid it "all on the table" and it is a reminder for us to keep our humility as we lock horns with nations that are further away than Australia and French-Samoa.
                  Now, as we look on to see a similar match-up between the All Blacks and Argentina this weekend. Playing at an obscure midday on Sunday, both teams are adament that they have prepared correctly. "We know what we have to do and it's matter of getting out there and putting 80 minutes of running rugby together" said Steve Hansen who used to play rugby but now coaches full time.
                  It will be difficult for the boys to keep their focus after their clash with the Springboks merely two weeks our junior. As the hill of Jo'Burg lies in the distance the NZ rugby side must mainting focus and keep in the now. The All Blacks have never lost to Argentina , and there is no reason for that to change on Sunday - even without Richie McCaw and Dan Carter. The absence of that once talismanic duo now no longer has the destabilising effect it once had.
Aaron Cruden is a more than capable stand-in at first five-eighth and the next cab off the rank, young Beauden Barrett, is also well on the way to achieving similar status.
Carter has now missed so many big games, the All Blacks have long ago figured out how to play without him. At No 7 Sam Cane remains a work in progress but there is no doubt the young man is heading in the right direction. He would have gained a lot from coming through a tough night at "Bleedin' Park" on the right side of the ledger. Both match-ups have been terrific for the modern on-looker and both teams display the linchpins that NZer live their lives by.